by Pete McEntegart, SI.com
Bengals receiver Chad Johnson has been demanding a trade and says he will hold out until he gets one -- for as long as it takes. Then on Tuesday, Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis essentially said, Make my day. Lewis told the media that as far as he was concerned, Ocho Cinco could sit and rot all year if that's what he wants to do, concluding his remarks thusly: "So don't play." Ouch. That's what's known in poker as calling a bluff.
Still, that leaves us with one pressing question. To wit: What will Chad do with himself all year without football? Fortunately, that sort of nonsense query is right up our alley:
10. Spike package of Hot Pockets when he reaches front of the express lane
9. Meet expenses by leasing space in his ginormous mouth
8. Ponder just how sordid you must be if the Bengals are sick of you
7. Discover someone beat him to new nickname choice: "No mas"
6. Foolishly pick himself in fantasy football
5. Don't worry, he's still a superdelegate
4. Guarantee win on scratch-off lottery ticket to befuddled deli clerk
3. Heartened when trip to mechanic proves that squeaky wheel really does get the grease
2. Try to join Judd Apatow comedy cabal
1. Yeah, like he's really going to sit out all year. As if!
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