REPORTING FROM THE JOCK-OSPHERE:
ODEN AT THE ESPY'S
by Ryan Corazza and Evan Bartsch
Jocks blog. We report. (You decide).
Greg brings his A-Game and gets to hang with A-Listers:
"Last night the ESPY awards aired, and I was in attendance," he writes. "I have to shout out my boy David Shottenstein for hooking me up with my suit, and my boy Kenny for cutting my hair, so I was looking good. That red carpet was so hot that I was sweating all through my shirt, so I had to keep my jacket on the whole entire time. Other than that I had an outstanding time. I actually had a performance skit with Justin Timberlake, he is cool. I was playing the piano in an extra small tuxedo, tie and some Elton John Glasses with tube socks. No one knew I could play the piano. I also had a couple of one liners but my favorite is when Will Ferrell said 'I want to be tucked in by Greg Oden and have him tell us stories about the old days.'"
Be sure not to tell Will any scary stories, I hear he's a straight bed-wetter.
Curt Schilling: Getting Graphic
Paging Dr. Schiling:
"This first picture is my labrum," he writes. "This actually looks rather innocent until you realize this. That white wispy cotton looking material is my labrum and that solid bone thing to the right is my bone at the joint. The white wispy thing is supposed to be adhered to the bone and NOT all frayed and floating. Basically I had a torn labrum from about 10 o'clock to 3 o'clock. Far more significant tear than I had 13 years ago. Also if you peek behind into the background you can see my bicep tendon hanging out back there, all shiny and white and healthy. That's the bicep tendon as it exited the small canal near the top of my shoulder, looking pretty sexy I might add."
We couldn't agree more: nothing like some hot bicep tendon to get you going.
"Ok, It's been a while since I barked in the yard," he writes."But to be honest I've been pretty tired the last few days summer league took a lot out of me. It was tough on the 2nd year guys like me and Javaris because not only were we playing in the games but we continued our individual workouts throughout the week. I'm back in CBUS now so I will go back to my normal workout routine starting Monday. I'm feeling really good about my 3 point shooting right now, I shot 44% in the league; that's the most important thing I wanted to do while in Vegas."
Mike, doubling down on 11 is the most important thing you can do in Vegas. But we'll accept 44% also.
Chris Cooley: Two-a-Days Are the Opposite of Fun
Chris checks in from camp at Redskins Park, talks about the new Zorn Regime, and wants you to heckle Jason Fabini as much as you'd like:
"Two-a-days are the opposite of fun," he writes. "This morning was alright, the fans were actually great and made practice a little more fun than normal. We have nicknamed our favorite heckler of the day "Yes Sir Man" and if anyone was at Redskins Park this morning they will know exactly who Yes Sir Man was. For those who weren't at practice, Yes Sir was granted his nickname because of his abundant use of the phrase of "Yes Sir." Obviously, but he did have quite a few other gems for the Redskin players. The main victim of Yes Sir was Jason Fabini. He varied his comments from, "This is your 11th year, stop playing like it's your fourth." To plain mean "It looks like you didn't do anything this offseason, hit the weight room." Needless to say Fabini didn't get any "Yes Sirs" or "I see you's." If anyone comes to practice tomorrow or any day for that matter, feel free to heckle Jason Fabini as much as you'd like.
"Another thing I realized is that I can do anything at training camp and get cheers. I even dropped a ball or two and got nothing but encouragement. I'm pretty sure I also set a team high of yes sirs for the day. I'm thinking about coming out to practice in one of those elephant thongs with the trunk as the package holder. I'm sure widespread applause would ensue. (Sarcasm) Since this isn't in my real tone of voice I come to realize that some people don't pick up on blogger sarcasm very well, so I was just kidding. I actually would like to come up with something elaborate, but the new Zorn regime requires only Redskin issued gear and alterations are not in favor."
RIP to the Hot Pants, but rest assured, Tom Cruise may be shimmying some on for a Top Gun reprisal. Yeah, that movie can't miss.
The Rangers reliever putting his thoughts to the blog:
"Note to self: please call schedule makers and request no road trips to MN before June," he writes.
"For me, seeing Josh surprise himself was the best part. Sure he hit some balls 500 feet, but I get to see that all the time. We in RangerLand are a bit spoiled with power hitters.
"Someone needs to make a 'Clay Council is my BP pitcher' t-shirt.
"I told you guys that Milton Bradley was cool!"
"Ending our night in Springfield, Missouri yesterday, with our usual autograph session I was approached by the cutest little girl grinning from ear to ear," she writes. "She ran up, looking up, on her tip toes, and with such excitement shouted, 'Go get us our fourth, Jennie.' It was the cutest thing!!! Our fourth… thats our mission. 'Our' meaning every little girl out there, the many Coaches, the many fans of all ages, the women before us who paved the way for us, it is 'Ours' as a Nation, going for four for all!"
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