LPGA: Better Speak English or Else...

In case you haven't heard, the LPGA is cracking down on those players not "effectively" speaking english. Can you imagine what would happen if MLB had adopted this? That's right. There would be no trace of "beisbol has been berry, berry good to me." It would have been wrongly and sadly eradicated several decades ago. Praise be to Bud Selig.

from ESPN:

Cabrera understands the importance of speaking English, and he realizes it only hurts him. He said he has a good relationship with Woods, but because of the language barrier, it always will be limited.

What troubles the big Argentine is why language should affect performance inside the ropes.

"I remember what [Roberto] de Vicenzo once said to me," Cabrera said. "If you shoot under 70, everybody will understand you. If you don't, they won't want to talk to you, anyway."

A few months ago, Choi had finished a brief interview when a reporter tried to say, "Thank you" in Korean, but told him he forgot the word. Choi laughed and playfully shared this thought with his agent.

"I taught him one word seven years ago and he still doesn't remember," he said. "And he expects me to learn his entire language?"

from ESPN the Mag: Chuck Klosterman

THIS JUST IN

I can't stop thinking about the Kobe-Shaq feud. It's endlessly compelling, like any good train wreck.

by Chuck Klosterman

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People use the word "hate" a lot when they talk about sports. They use it so often, it has no meaning whatsoever.

Everyone in Minneapolis hates Brett Favre—unless, of course, he winds up playing there—even though most of them would feel nothing about him had the Falcons never traded him to Green Bay in 1992. Lots of people hated J.J. Redick when he was averaging 20 a game for Duke, but who hates a guy who's getting eight minutes a night in Orlando?

Sports hatred is situational and generally metaphorical. Play-by-play announcers remind us that the Raiders hate the Broncos and the Sox hate the Yankees, but those alleged on-field enemies share the same agents and eat in the same restaurants and tip the same exotic dancers. If sports hatred feels real to the hater, it's a self-styled fiction: hatred for the purpose of play. About 99% of the time, it's a totally constructed emotion.

But that final 1% is all I need.

This is why the tension between Shaq and Kobe continues to fascinate me, even deep in the doldrums of summer. I love thinking about it. It never stops being interesting. Shaq and Kobe hate each other for real; I'm convinced of this. They despise each other in a way that's not only rare in sports but rare in life. They hate each other so much that neither would ever admit it, lest the other man get some sort of abstract satisfaction from the admittance of the loathing. O'Neal dismisses the conflict as comedy, and Bryant pretends he doesn't care, but those are the predictable defense mechanisms they use when faced with uncomfortable emotions. The reality is they want to kill each other. I can't prove this, but it feels obvious. And it makes me like each a little more and a little less.

Getty Images

Every sports fan with a laptop and no life has heard O'Neal's freestyle rap about Kobe's inability to win a title on his own, punctuated by Shaq's relentless (and arguably valid) question, "Kobe, how my ass taste?" And everyone has found this material hilarious. The semi-extemporaneous lyrics also accuse Bryant of destroying Shaq's marriage (by reportedly telling Colorado police after his arrest for sexual assault that the Big Aristotle paid women for their silence after the ends of affairs), which is slightly less funny (although probably more valid). Now, Shaq is a funny guy and a charming fellow and—most important, at least from a PR perspective—a hyper-jolly goofball who likes to give toys to sick orphans. So as a culture, we tend to take his side.

But his rap was still pretty weird. Go back and watch it again. Its only goal was to humiliate and emasculate Bryant, and it was conducted in a context that left Bryant no recourse. O'Neal knew Kobe couldn't respond, which is why he seemed to enjoy the performance so much. If Kobe took the situation seriously and called a press conference, he would seem weak and humorless. If he tried to respond with a rap of his own, it would be an inorganic disaster: Kobe would probably try dressing like the 1981 version of Reggie Theus, hire the Neptunes and come across like a chick from Northern State (the Brooklyn hip-hop group, not the D2 Wolves from Aberdeen, S.D.).

Bryant can't do cool that isn't directly related to basketball. And this drives him crazy, because he wants people to like him. (I don't think he needs to be loved, necessarily—just liked. Or at least not actively disliked.) His only revenge is to tape a still from Kazaam on his bathroom mirror, stare at it every morning to remind himself of the man he hates, fixate on that hate at the gym for the next six hours and then drop 82 whenever LA plays Phoenix. He has no other option.

It's this mutual desire to humiliate that makes the hatred between Shaq and Kobe feel so different to me. This isn't like the feud between Barry Bonds and Jeff Kent—that was just two guys who wanted to punch each other because they were: a) superficially different, but b) fundamentally the same. That was competitive; this is personal. Kobe and Shaq want to destroy each other's persona. Each wants to damage his rival's legacy because, 20 years from now, their legacies are all either one will have. By stressing that Kobe "couldn't do it without me," O'Neal was trying to negate the fact that Bryant has in fact won three titles.

Shaq is suggesting that Kobe is only a second-tier legend, more like a statistically impressive nonchamp (Charles Barkley, Dominique Wilkins, George Gervin) or a world-class, ring-wearing role player (Scottie Pippen, Kevin McHale). In the NBA, you cannot be truly transcendent unless you've: a) won a championship, and b) been the primary reason for your team's winning that championship. Shaq is attempting to rewrite history, trying to rebrand Bryant as a nonwinner. This kind of attack serves no purpose and offers no personal benefit, but he does it anyway. So what's his motive? There can be only one: hatred. He simply hates the guy.

This, I suspect, is what Shaq thinks about Kobe: You betrayed me. I tried to be cool with you, but you're not a real guy. You got yourself into trouble, and the first thing you did was bring up my name for no reason. Now my kids live somewhere else. When we played together, all you had to do was concede I was the focus of the team and let people make up their own minds about which of us was more important. But you made the Lakers choose between us, and you were younger and healthier, so they traded me to Miami. And that was embarrassing for me. So I'm going to embarrass you for the rest of your life. I am going to prey on your social insecurities and your need for appreciation. And I'm gonna do this because I hate you.

IF SHAQ HONESTLY BELIEVES ALL THE THINGS HE RAPPED ABOUT, WOULD HE NEED TO SAY THEM? PROBABLY NOT.

Kobe, of course, sees things differently. He probably thinks about Shaq like this: You know I'm better. You know it. And that should be the only thing that matters. And I know I told a reporter you were fat in 2003, and I'm sorry about that. But you were fat, and that made you less effective and injury-prone. I'm just being honest here. Basketball is not a game; it's a science. Why does personality have to matter? I realize I shouldn't have dropped your name to those cops, but I thought my life was over, and I panicked. Everyone seems to like you no matter how you act, so I tried to associate my behavior with yours. Besides, you don't seem particularly depressed about your wife's being gone. In fact, you seem to be having a great time making me look like a bozo. Why are you doing this? You have made it increasingly difficult for me to enjoy my own greatness. And I hate you for that.

George Bernard Shaw (who spent most of his adult life making random comments that writers could later use in magazine columns) once said that hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated. At least in this case, that seems pretty true. But which of these revenge-seekers is intimidated more? In the eyes of the public, there's no doubt O'Neal is winning this war. I wonder, though, if that actually means he has already lost. If Shaq honestly believes all the things he rapped about, would he need to say them? Probably not. Which is why this grudge doesn't get boring: Faced with the possibility of moving on and moving forward, neither of these guys can do it. What's more, they don't want to. It's part of who they are. They love it.

And the love is what true hate is.

Jocko Import from ESPN

REPORTING FROM THE JOCK-OSPHERE:
ODEN AT THE ESPY'S

by Ryan Corazza and Evan Bartsch

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A better duo than Steinem and Meat Loaf? Eh.

Jocks blog. We report. (You decide).

Greg Oden: The ESPY Awards

Greg brings his A-Game and gets to hang with A-Listers:

"Last night the ESPY awards aired, and I was in attendance," he writes. "I have to shout out my boy David Shottenstein for hooking me up with my suit, and my boy Kenny for cutting my hair, so I was looking good. That red carpet was so hot that I was sweating all through my shirt, so I had to keep my jacket on the whole entire time. Other than that I had an outstanding time. I actually had a performance skit with Justin Timberlake, he is cool. I was playing the piano in an extra small tuxedo, tie and some Elton John Glasses with tube socks. No one knew I could play the piano. I also had a couple of one liners but my favorite is when Will Ferrell said 'I want to be tucked in by Greg Oden and have him tell us stories about the old days.'"

Be sure not to tell Will any scary stories, I hear he's a straight bed-wetter.

Curt Schilling: Getting Graphic

Paging Dr. Schiling:

"This first picture is my labrum," he writes. "This actually looks rather innocent until you realize this. That white wispy cotton looking material is my labrum and that solid bone thing to the right is my bone at the joint. The white wispy thing is supposed to be adhered to the bone and NOT all frayed and floating. Basically I had a torn labrum from about 10 o'clock to 3 o'clock. Far more significant tear than I had 13 years ago. Also if you peek behind into the background you can see my bicep tendon hanging out back there, all shiny and white and healthy. That's the bicep tendon as it exited the small canal near the top of my shoulder, looking pretty sexy I might add."

We couldn't agree more: nothing like some hot bicep tendon to get you going.

Michael Conley: Summer League

"Ok, It's been a while since I barked in the yard," he writes."But to be honest I've been pretty tired the last few days summer league took a lot out of me. It was tough on the 2nd year guys like me and Javaris because not only were we playing in the games but we continued our individual workouts throughout the week. I'm back in CBUS now so I will go back to my normal workout routine starting Monday. I'm feeling really good about my 3 point shooting right now, I shot 44% in the league; that's the most important thing I wanted to do while in Vegas."

Mike, doubling down on 11 is the most important thing you can do in Vegas. But we'll accept 44% also.

Chris Cooley: Two-a-Days Are the Opposite of Fun

Chris checks in from camp at Redskins Park, talks about the new Zorn Regime, and wants you to heckle Jason Fabini as much as you'd like:

"Two-a-days are the opposite of fun," he writes. "This morning was alright, the fans were actually great and made practice a little more fun than normal. We have nicknamed our favorite heckler of the day "Yes Sir Man" and if anyone was at Redskins Park this morning they will know exactly who Yes Sir Man was. For those who weren't at practice, Yes Sir was granted his nickname because of his abundant use of the phrase of "Yes Sir." Obviously, but he did have quite a few other gems for the Redskin players. The main victim of Yes Sir was Jason Fabini. He varied his comments from, "This is your 11th year, stop playing like it's your fourth." To plain mean "It looks like you didn't do anything this offseason, hit the weight room." Needless to say Fabini didn't get any "Yes Sirs" or "I see you's." If anyone comes to practice tomorrow or any day for that matter, feel free to heckle Jason Fabini as much as you'd like.

"Another thing I realized is that I can do anything at training camp and get cheers. I even dropped a ball or two and got nothing but encouragement. I'm pretty sure I also set a team high of yes sirs for the day. I'm thinking about coming out to practice in one of those elephant thongs with the trunk as the package holder. I'm sure widespread applause would ensue. (Sarcasm) Since this isn't in my real tone of voice I come to realize that some people don't pick up on blogger sarcasm very well, so I was just kidding. I actually would like to come up with something elaborate, but the new Zorn regime requires only Redskin issued gear and alterations are not in favor."

RIP to the Hot Pants, but rest assured, Tom Cruise may be shimmying some on for a Top Gun reprisal. Yeah, that movie can't miss.

C.J. Wilson: Writing Notes

The Rangers reliever putting his thoughts to the blog:

"Note to self: please call schedule makers and request no road trips to MN before June," he writes.
"For me, seeing Josh surprise himself was the best part. Sure he hit some balls 500 feet, but I get to see that all the time. We in RangerLand are a bit spoiled with power hitters.

"Someone needs to make a 'Clay Council is my BP pitcher' t-shirt.

"I told you guys that Milton Bradley was cool!"

Jennie Finch: Fan Friendly

"Ending our night in Springfield, Missouri yesterday, with our usual autograph session I was approached by the cutest little girl grinning from ear to ear," she writes. "She ran up, looking up, on her tip toes, and with such excitement shouted, 'Go get us our fourth, Jennie.' It was the cutest thing!!! Our fourth… thats our mission. 'Our' meaning every little girl out there, the many Coaches, the many fans of all ages, the women before us who paved the way for us, it is 'Ours' as a Nation, going for four for all!"

Hump Day Jocko feat. Milton Bradley

REPORTING FROM THE JOCK-OSPHERE:
MILTON BRADLEY BLOGS?

by Ryan Corazza and Evan Bartsch

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Milton Bradley with a baseball bat: good for your baseball team or menace to society?

Jocks blog. We report. (You decide.)

Milton Bradley: I'm an All-Star Now

The Rangers DH on finally making it to the gala:

"Last September, I was being peeled up off the dirt in San Diego with a torn ACL," he writes. "I was completely written off by the baseball world. I was barely given a chance to be ready to play by the All-Star break, let alone be a part of the annual celebration. But my hard head refused to listen to the nay-sayers. 'I'll be ready for opening day,' I arrogantly proclaimed last December before I was even able to jog.

"But that's where my mother Charlena Rector comes into play. Well actually, she's been a part of things since day one. She kept me in school every single day (perfect attendance my whole life), in church every Sunday and she guided me through the trials and tribulations of this crazy career I've chosen. "God is able," she always says. And my faith in God never allowed me to waver from His perfect plan. I haven't necessarily taken the most direct route, but I made it."

Let's hope Joe Buck doesn't make a crack about M.B. in the booth next week.

Tommy Lasorda: Master Motivator

The Dodgers lifer doing what he does best:

"I can remember Cardinal O'Connor gave a memorial Mass for my mother," he writes. "After the Mass he said he wanted to see me, and he said that every time he heard me talk that I always talked about motivation.

"'Do you really believe that you need to motivate players making five, eight, 10 million dollars a year,' he asked.

"I told him that everybody in this country, from the President, down to the lowest job in the land, at some time or another needs to be motivated because they think they are doing their best when in reality they are not."

John Lackey: A Trip To The White House … and Some Bowling

John Lackey really digs the White House:

"One of the days we were in DC, a few of us players (Reggie Willits, Justin Speier, Robb Quinlan) and staff got a tour of the White House, mostly the East Wing and some of the West Wing," he writes. "I really had to pinch myself because it was surreal. I guess since 9/11 they don't do public tours so I definitely felt privileged to be there. We got a chance to see the Oval Office and the Rose Garden during our visit back in 2003 after we won the World Series but this time we spent about two hours there. Our tour guide was a former sniper with the secret service. This guy was great, knew all the ins and outs to the White House and gave us some great insight. He took us down to the basement where there is a bowling alley. I got to roll a ball and left three pins standing. You know I would have picked up the spare but we each threw just one."

Later in the visit, Lackey tried reenacting the scene from There Will Be Blood in the bowling alley. He was promptly kicked out.

Jennie Finch: 32 Days

Jennie's not ready for the Olympic ride to be over; just ready to get started in Bejing:

"Watching the Olympic trials has been rejuvenating and energizing!" she writes. "It has been amazing watching dreams come true for many. After watching many hours of track and swimming I thank the Lord above for me playing a team sport and us being chosen in September!

"My heart breaks for the many who have given so much just to have a shot on that one day. That one day they have to be their best. Less than a second, less than a centimeter, there were so many emotions in the trials this past week. I have a really close friend who was there competing for her one shot, she has given so much, faced an injury 2 months before the trials, fought so hard to overcome, she was so very close. My heart ached for her this week as she went through the trials and came up just short. She will remain a champion in my mind. Watching her face this past week just makes me realize how many belong and gave so much but yet will not be in Beijing physically but are with all of us that are.

"We are better and who we are and will carry them with us as we represent the US because of all these amazing athletes. It reminds me how grateful, blessed, thankful, and incredibly special this is. We have been grinding daily getting ready for this our whole lives and its only 32 days away."

Rafael Nadal: Nacho Typical Morning

Wimbeldon Champ Rafa blogs about morning practice with his uncle and friend:

"It has been quite a busy morning," he writes. "I practiced for 2 hours. Initially it was going to be a smoother practice but I wasn't feeling that great hitting the ball and decided to practice a bit more with my Uncle Toni and a player from Menorca called Nacho Coll. I know him for some time, he is in the Balearic Tennis Centre and he is around to play some future events. I use to hit with him sometimes when we are in Mallorca. After that I had a lot of media obligations with Press Conference, TV interviews and a get together with the Spanish media that follow me around the different tournaments."

Is Nacho Rafa's secret training weapon? Is that why Federer went down?

Paul DePodesta: Wanna Be GM?

"Ok, this is your chance," he writes. "Well, not really, but I am interested in hearing your opinions.

"Today we saw a blockbuster transaction with CC Sabathia moving to the Brewers. I'm not looking for your take on the trade (sorry) - these are actually two of the best GM's in the game making bold, yet solid, moves for their respective organizations. It should be a win-win, which is what you'd expect with these types of players and organizations involved. What I'm curious about is this: what would you do this month if you were the GM of the Padres?

"As I've written before, this year has been frustrating on two fronts: 1) we've played well below our expectations, and 2) we were a timely hit away yesterday from being just seven games out of an underachieving division. Given the state of our current team, our organization as a whole, and the entire division, what would you do?

"I've posted a poll to the right that will run for the next three days - no dillydallying or waiting to see how things unfold. I'd like your vote in the poll and your comments below this posting. This should be interesting…"

Ah, this pulls us right to this Seinfeld memory; cue Frank Costanza (the average crazed fan) when he has Steinbrenner over at the house because Big Stein thinks George is dead. What comes out of Frank first? Not 'how is my son' or 'what happened to George' but 'what the hell did you get rid of Jay Buhner for?!' Let the fans have their say, for it will be interesting.

from 'The Mag'

LIFE OF REILLY

Weighed down by too much cash? Don't worry, I'm here to help.

David Dow/NBAE via Getty Images

By Rick Reilly

Congrats, newly minted NBA rookie!

Now you've been drafted. Next comes the delicious multimillion-dollar contract. And that's when you must do what most NBA players do: start going through cash like Jack Black through the Keebler factory.

Filing for bankruptcy is a long-standing tradition for NBA players, 60% of whom, according to the Toronto Star, are broke five years after they retire. The other 40% deliver the Toronto Star.

It's not just NBA players who have the fiscal sense of the Taco Bell Chihuahua. All kinds of athletes wind up with nothing but lint in their pockets. And if everyone from Johnny Unitas to Sheryl Swoopes to Lawrence Taylor can do it, so can you! With my How to Go Bankrupt* DVD series, it's a layup to go belly-up!

Ten essentials, just to get you started:

1. Screw up, deny it, then fight by using every lawyer and dime you have. Roger Clemens just sold his Bentley, reportedly to pay legal bills. Marion Jones lawyered herself broke before she finally copped and went to prison. Paging Mr. Bonds, Mr. Barry Bonds.


2. Buy a house the size of Delaware. Evander Holyfield was in danger of losing his 54,000-square-foot pad outside Atlanta, and it's a shame. He had almost visited all 109 rooms!

FROM $300M UP TO $27M DOWN? EASY.




3. Buy many, many cars. Baseball slugger Jack Clark had 18 cars and owed money on 17 when he went broke. And don't get just boring Porsches and Mercedes. Go for Maybachs. They sell for as much as $375,000—even though they look like Chrysler 300s—and nobody will ever know how to pronounce them, much less fix them.


4. Buy a jet. They burn money like the Pentagon. Do you realize it costs $50,000 just to fix the windshield on one? Scottie Pippen borrowed $4.375 million to buy some wings and spent God knows how much more for insurance, pilots and fuel. Finally, his wallet cried uncle. The courts say he still owes $5 million, including interest. See you in coach, Scottie! (For that matter, why not a yacht? Latrell Sprewell kept his 70-foot Italian-made yacht tied up in storage until the bank repossessed it, in August 2007. He probably sat at home and cried about that—until the bank foreclosed on his house, this past May.)


5. Spend stupid money on other really stupid stuff. In going from $300 million up to $27 million down, Mike Tyson once spent $9,180 in two months to care for his white tiger. That's why Iron Mike's picture is on our logo!


6. Hire an agent who sniffs a lot and/or is constantly checking the scores on his BlackBerry. Those are the kinds of guys who will suck up your dough like a street-sweeper. Ex-Knick Mark Jackson once had a business manager he thought he could trust. Turned out the guy was forging Jackson's signature on checks—an estimated $2.6 million worth—to feed a gambling jones. "And it wasn't like I was a rookie—I was a veteran," Jackson says. The only reason he says he's getting some money back is because he didn't …


7. Sign over power of attorney. What's it mean? Who cares? Just sign! The guy you're signing it over to knows. And while you play Xbox, he'll be buying large portions of Switzerland for himself. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar let an agent named Tom Collins have power of attorney once, and it cost Kareem $9 million before he figured it out.


8. Spend like the checks will never stop. Also known as the Darren McCarty method. Despite earning $2.1 million a year, Red Wing McCarty, who started a rock band called Grinder, went splat by investing in everything but fur socks ($490,000 in unlikely-to-be-repaid loans) and gambling large ($185,000 in casino markers). In other words, a Tuesday for John Daly.


9. Just ball. Don't write your own checks. Don't drive your own car. Don't raise your own kids. Just be a tall slab of skilled meat for others to feast on. Not to worry. It'll be over before you know it.


10. Most of all, set up a huge support system around you. It'll be years before you'll realize they call it a support system because you're the only one supporting it. They're all on full-ride scholarships at the University of You. "Guys go broke because they surround themselves with people who help them go broke," says ex-NBA center Danny Schayes, who now runs No Limits Investing in Phoenix. "I know all-time NBA, top-50 guys who sold their trophies to recover."

See, kid? You can be a top-50 guy!

So order my How to Go Bankrupt series now, and get this empty refrigerator box to sleep in, absolutely free!

*(Only $1,449 plus shipping, handling, service fee, dealer prep and undercoating. Per month.)

Love the column, hate the column, got a better idea? Go here.

Want more Life of Reilly? Then check out the archive.

Get Your Jocko?

REPORTING FROM THE JOCK-OSPHERE

by Ryan Corazza and Evan Bartsch

Getty Images

Rousey (left) represents our best chance for gold in Judo.

Twenty-one-year-old Ronda Rousey is America's best chance to bring home gold—the first ever—in women's middleweight judo. She also pens an entertaining blog. Last week, she used that blog to bring to light sexual molestation accusations against a judo official in a post. After AOL's FanHouse reported on it, she removed the post and still seems a bit miffed by the whole ordeal. (We've been there.) The Mag.com talked with Rousey about the situation while she trains in Spain, as well as her one-time Pokemon fanaticism and yes, buffalo wings.

MAG: You came under a little heat for a post you wrote about an official who you wrote had "DOZENS of documented accusations of molesting young girls." That post has since been taken down. Why did you take it down? Do you regret writing it?
ROUSEY: My coaches didn't want me to have any distractions before the Olympics, so I took it down at their request. It's really sad that these days people care more about staying out of trouble than doing the right thing. People may not agree with my methods, but you can't say I don't have good intentions. I don't believe in regret. It's a waste of energy.

You seem outspoken and candid in your blog posts.
My blog started just as a way to let my family and friends know how I was doing while traveling, cause I was tired of writing so many letters. I write journals all the time so I write my blogs like journal entries, not politically correct updates on what I ate that day. It's not my fault people care what I think. And yes, to my close friends, I am that opinionated ALL the time.

Into some lighter stuff: We hear you used to be a bit of a Pokemon fanatic.
Well, so much traveling leads to a lot of time for handheld games. I was even a Pokemon forum moderator at one point on Gametalk.com, but after a while I couldn't believe how much useless Pokemon knowledge was stored in my head and decided my time would much better be spent reading or something.

And there was a Queer as Folk obsession somewhere within there as well?
Haha yeah for a while I was living with a family in upstate New York and our big activity together was to watch as many Queer as Folk episodes as we could stay conscious for. After moving out though it wasn't really the same.

If there were 300 buffalo wings sitting in front of you now, are you confident you could finish them all?
Hmmmm … not breaded?… 60 is my record but there were only 60 on the table. If you buy me 300 wings we'll see how it goes, I've never been one to shy away from a challenge!

This is your second Olympics and you are ranked as one of the top three in the world. Does it bother you that it's in a sport that's largely unrecognized in the States?
No it really doesn't bother me that much. If I wanted to be famous I would have tried to be an actress. As long as I make enough money to get by, I don't care about making the millions professional sports offers either. I'm get to travel the world doing what I love - and better yet, doing it well! I couldn't ask for much more. I look at professional athletes and grow frustrated seeing how much more they care about money than the game itself.

You're in Spain now. What's good on the menu over there?
I just had the most bomb-diggity gyro in recent memory with some cookies and an electrolyte drink. I've been asking around but no one can tell me what an electrolyte actually is! I'm probably gunna go all Wikipedia on it after this interview.

Lastly, to everyone who doesn't follow judo: what can we expect in Beijing. And what do you see as your chances for a shot at gold?
I really can do it. I've fought all these girls before, and despite all the advantages in facilities, financial support, and scouting they have over me - I've showed everyone before that I don't care and will win despite what they have. Every day I've decided and been completely assured that I will win - I have. It's all about your state of mind. Besides, it's just a judo tournament, and winning judo tournaments is what I'm good at.

Elsewhere in the Jockosphere

C.J. Wilson: My Picks for the All-Star Team

C.J. is always one to tell it like it is…and today is no different as he makes his case for his Ranger teammates.

"The all-star break is almost here. How many Rangers will make it?" he writes. "5 extremely deserving guys."

Hamilton - beast
Kinsler - best hitting leadoff hitter in 08
Bradley - leading AL in every percentage/average
Young - deer
Padilla - aka the flotilla, aka the chief- already has notched 10 wins

"We're such a better team than we were last year...I can't wait 'til we actually get something rolling..."

C.J. goes on to highlight one of his favorite clubhouse moments:

Best behind the scenes clubhouse thing of 2008: watching Frank 'El Jugador' Francisco play chess. Some 'true player wisdom' that brings joy to my day each time I hear or see it:

'A true player moves likes this'(while attacking)
'Right there? Right there?'(when opponent moves piece multiple times before deciding)
'Let me eat this little snack' (as he takes a pawn)
'You gonna lose your horse. Seriously.'(obvious)

'Let me eat this little snack' was runner-up to Pacino's more famous 'Say hello to my little friend' in Scarface. OK, maybe not. But it could be, right?

Joe Blanton: Rumor Has It

Craving some insight into the A's rumor mill? Big Joe Blanton has you covered:

"It's about that time of year when my name starts popping up in trade rumors, so I figured you might want to know my thoughts on the whole deal," he writes. "It's obviously not the first year my name's come up, so I'm pretty used to it by now. I think this is Year Three of 'Joe's Gonna Get Traded' talk before the deadline.

"I'm used to it by now, I've kind of learned the best way to deal with it—or at least the best way for me. It's just one of those things that you acknowledge is out there, but you realize it's just a rumor, and rumors are usually nothing more. I don't know what the percentage is of trade rumors out there that actually happens, but I do know the percentage when it comes to me is zero up to now.

"I'm not saying I don't acknowledge that it's possible I'll get traded, but I just kind of ignore it. I've got a job to do for the Oakland A's, and that's all that matters in my baseball life right now, doing the best I can for the A's."

Sixty percent of the time, you get traded every time. That's the skinny, we hear. But keep it under your hat. We don't want Hank Steinbrenner getting all up in our grill for releasing trade secrets.

Michael Conley: Draft Party!

"I went to the Grizzlies NBA draft party last night at the forum and had a great time signing autographs on the floor," he writes. "I then watched maybe the first 15 picks of the draft and went out with my cousins to get something to eat and watched the rest of the 1st round.

"Before I flew down to Memphis for the draft party we had some pretty good open gyms at Ohio State, Scoonie Penn was back along with some more OSU players. Evan how'd you like that dunk?"

Ah, talking trash over an open gym dunk. Evan Turner must have gotten posterized something good for MC Jr. to be blogging about it days later.

Presidential Jocko

REPORTING FROM THE JOCK-OSPHERE:
CANDIDATES EDITION

by Ryan Corazza and Evan Bartsch

Getty Images

Smile? When Obama's marginal tax rates will make FDR's America feel like Reaganomics? Not this guy.

With the field set for the 2008 election, we've been keeping a close eye on the advocacy going on in the athletic world with our Presidential Fantasy League. And out there among the jock-osphere exists some athlete endorsements, with their stance on who should lead this country away from high gas prices and a weak dollar (two areas a Pres is virtually powerless, but anyway). Who can forget Barack ringing up Greg Oden, or Diana Taurasi pushing the Obama-Barkley ticket? What of McCain getting approval from Dana White, or the coveted Luis Gonzalez nod and Curt Schilling endorsement?

Today on Jocko, we wanted to briefly highlight a few other recent posts on the subject of politics. Call them the passionate and perhaps undecided. For a brief update on the candidate jock status, we'll remind that Barack has become synonymous with basketball, and McCain was also once a lightweight boxer. So keep that in mind, Mr. and Mrs. athlete blogger/voter.

Mark Cuban: The Definition of Madness

The Maverick boss is baffled by voters.

"They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results," he writes. "So why is it the American people allow our politicians to do the same things over and over and we believe them and expect results different from previous elections?

"I've looked at the websites of current and previous candidates to get an understanding of their platforms. They all have positions, some of which I agree with, some of which I don't. But there is one thing that is missing from each and every one of them, any manner of implementation. Health care, spending cuts, retaining or repealing tax cuts, keeping or removing troops, the soundbites with pretty numbers never end. Not a single candidate provides details on how exactly they are going to accomplish anything. Don't they realize that economists exists to make lottery ticket buyers look smart, not presidential candidates?

"It reminds me of business plans I get from kids who tell me about their vision and project all kinds of numbers leading to grand results. They can site historical facts and figures, but when it comes time to get into details of exactly how they are going to execute on their plans, the response is basically that they will figure it out as they go. I wouldn't invest in a business that is winging it any more than I want to vote for a presidential candidate that is winging it."

Vonnie Holiday: It's Historic

''I don't care who you are, with this election, how can you not pay attention to what's going on?'' said Dolphins defensive tackle Vonnie Holliday. 'It's historic. As a kid you're told you can do anything, just put your mind to it, and for a long time, for women, for blacks, that wasn't necessarily the case. Now, Hillary made that dream a reality. When my daughter says, `` `I want to be president,' it's like, `Yeah, you have a shot.'

''Same for my son,'' says Holliday. "He can be president one day.''

Matt Treanor: Six Figure Taxes Got Me Into Politics

Treanor, whose famous wife also has a blog, feels the pinch a bit when he sees how much he's putting back into the system.

''I started getting more interested when I started making more money, and they were taking a lot of it. When you pay six figures for federal taxes, you want to know where it's going, what motivates our politicians.

"I don't like the way we've been going about our business for a while now. War stinks. But I'm a patriot, to some extent. It shouldn't take the bombing of the World Trade Center for people to put a flag in front of their homes or say what a great country we live in. It's an amazing place, and everyone should exercise their right to vote.''

Get Your Beastie On

THE BEASTIE BOYS MEET THE NBA DRAFT

by Jason Matloff, Stevland Wilson, and Anna Clemmons

The Mag: Adam Yauch is Gunnin' For That #1 Spot

Adam Yauch is an original member of The Beastie Boys, which in and of itself makes him awesome. However, he is also the director and producer of the upcoming documentary Gunnin' for that No. 1 Spot, which follows a bunch of the 2008 NBA Draft class from 2006 onward. Take a look at it right here, and always remember: these draft picks can easily define themselves as, "like numbers beyond what you can dial; maybe it's because we're so versatile." Anyone? Anyone? It's lyrics from Intergalatic!

from Deadspin:

ESPN Still Desperately Wants To Be Cool Again

A couple of years ago, some of ESPN's on-air talent was being lured away by another competing cable network that promised them a Daily Show-style vehicle, centered around sports instead of politics. Some were very interested — and some were very disappointed when the deal never went through, especially given that one of the people being courted as a lead writer on that particular show was a "prominent sports blogger" whom many of those men respected. It didn't happen, dreams were dashed, and everybody went back to their day jobs after having plumes of smoke blown up their TV-friendly assholes for a few months.

But maybe the dream has not died, as Broadcasting and Cable reports that the WWL is considering having its own "Daily Show" -style program on ESPN2 to follow a show called "Timeline, described by ESPN execs "as a panel of personalities, ranging from ESPN anchors to possibly a comedian well-versed in the sports world—along the lines of Frank Caliendo of Fox Sports and TBS."

But, for this post, I'm more interested in this Daily Show-idea. I couldn't get anyone from ESPN to speak about it, but lucky for us,I did get the "Prominent sports blogger" to spill a little about what the idea.

The question I posed was: Why do you think ESPN is interested in doing this type of show now?

Prominentsportsblogger:
"Because it's the easiest freaking pitch in the world. Everyone uses the "the Daily Show for XXXXX" pitch in every dumb television meeting. It seems logical for it to transfer to a sports show. But no one can ever get it together, because they're just taking the Daily Show format and applying it to sports.

The difference is, though: Fans of The Daily Show aren't INHERENTLY into politics. At least not obsessively. But sports fans are, by nature, obsessives. Most people will watch that show and be, "uh, you're gonna tell us some scores, right?" And that problem is why the show never gets made despite people trying for about five years now. Plus, ESPN will hire Nick Bakay."

It's amazing. While blogs like this one will apparently become safer and more palatable, ESPN is trying to go edgier. Well, fuck me.

ESPN To Go Deeper Into Late Night [Broadcasting And Cable]

Jock-O for Friday

from ESPN:

REPORTING FROM THE JOCK-OSPHERE

by Ryan Corazza and Evan Bartsch

Getty Images

"You think Alyssa will like the suit?"

[Ed's Note: In the long view of the sports media industry, it's still a relatively new concept that athletes, agents, executives, and yes, mascots, could circumvent us and tell their own stories…instantly, on blogs. We say, fantastic—but we're going to cover what they're writing.]

Donte Whitner: YouTube Diss

The Bills safety isn't taking too kindly to haters. In fact, he's posted a YouTube video of a fan reacting negatively to his draft choice in 2006 as motivation to get better. Check it out HERE.

Kyle Harrison: Turtle Sshoes and Ellen's Moves

The laxer on his new hot sneaks:

"Anyway, as you know, I love shoes, and pretty much any type of Nike is OK with me!" he writes. "On my drive across the country, me and my boy Brett came across this hot shoe store in Utah called '10' and they had all kinds of hot sneaks. But what made the store even better was they had a few people on site who were able to put whatever design you wanted on your shoe! When I was there I grabbed a pair of high top blazers and got them to draw my tattoo (a turtle, good luck on in my family) on the side which came out great."

And on Ellen:

"Oh yeah, such a random thought, but I happened to catch 5 minutes of Ellen today when I got home, how do we feel about her dancing at the beginning?" he writes. "I've got a few concerns."

The solution to Ellen's dancing follies? Set her up with your turtle sneaks, son. She should be getting down and dirty in no time.

Pat Neshek: On the Mend

With the news that he'll be out for what looks like the rest of the season, the Twins reliever has been filling time with what he does best: trading and auctioning items via message board. Don't miss your chance to pick up his My Little Pony backpack!

Chris Cooley: Getting Hitched Today

"Christy stepped through my back door three July's ago," he writes. "She walked into the house like she had climbed out of a poster in my high-school bedroom. Past fashionably late, she had given me way too much time to sit and drink and I knew it would be hard not to make an ass out of myself. By the time I was face to face with my favorite Redskins Cheerleader all I could muster was a shrugged shoulder handshake."

It was a summer Saturday night and Christy was thinking about me. I would have never known what she had on her mind, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She confessed that it wasn't coincidence that brought her to the house and she was prepared. If looks were bait then I was hooked. She dressed to make men panic, but beyond that she was beautiful. Her smile was incredible and she had something terribly contagious in her eyes. Awkward glances and stares filled the room, and before the night ended I knew that I wanted more."

On three: One, two, three … awwwwww.

Paul DePodesta: Road Warrior

Pauly D labored through a lot of baseball the other day. How much? Try 38 innings.

"On the amateur scouting front, I just returned to my hotel room after 38 innings of baseball (the first game went 11 innings - a bad omen for the rest of the day)," he writes. "Those 38 innings fell just shy of 16 hours to play. I don't care how much you love the game, that's a lot of baseball for one day. The first 7th inning stretch of the day occurred around noon time, and the fourth 7th inning stretch, yes the fourth one, was at 1:25 AM. Trust me, mid-inning pitching changes were not welcome as the evening turned into night and night turned into morning."

Tommy Lasorda: Proud of Piazza

Nothing like a boy you saw being born and raised and that you helped bring to the bigs becoming such a big success, eh?

"I was proud of him when he was my bat boy," he writes. "I was proud of him when he played college baseball. I was proud of him when he was drafted. I was proud of him when he went to the Dominican. I was proud of him when he became a Dodger. I was proud of him when he won the Rookie of the Year. I was proud to see him play in the World Series. I was proud when he became the all-time leading catcher in home runs and that he finished with a batting average over .300. I was proud to see him get married and have a daughter. I am proud that he was a 12-time All-Star, and I am proud to say that one day he will be in the Hall of Fame.

"But what I am most proud of is his heart, and his determination. What he has accomplished is the perfect example of what someone can attain if they believe in themselves.

"I love you, Michael."

Between Cooley and Tommy, we got our most sappy Jock-osphere to date. Enjoy your stay and hug your neighbors, friends.

Flea: The Silence of the Salty People

"the silence of the salty people
the silence of the loudest basketball place (do they pipe in noise
too during games?...hmmm...)
the silence of the crowd who booed the honorable Derek Fisher in a
blatant display of boorishness and classlessness
the silence of the dopes in the Utah crowd who threw things at the
Laker bench in the 4th quarter
the silence of the pathetic chanting of "referees s- -k" because they
had to defer of the blame, they could not handle their loss with dignity
the Utah Jazz has some great players and they are a tough team, i
wish them well
but they were no match for the finesse, brains, and grit of the los
angeles lakers"

How passionate is Flea about his Lakers? Just don't question his fanhood.

Yooooouuuuukkkkk: Say it ain't so, Youk!

"Thanks for all of the feedback on this blog since the start of the 2007 season. I am no longer actively blogging here since the Japan Opening Day Series. See you at the ballpark."

David Boreanaz, Actor: Flyers Alive in his Heart

"I think I'd like to start by saying if you take a team that finished dead last, one picked by many to not even make the playoffs, and that team not only makes the playoffs but defeats a hot team like Washington, and takes out its frustrations further on the No. 1 seed in the East before bowing out against 'the Next One' and a host of superstars, well&it would be silly to say this team was anything but a success.

"In fact, it was amazing. The 'experts' didn't even give us the time of day to make the playoffs, but we proved everyone wrong, got to the Eastern Conf finals and I'm proud of them. I'm very, very proud of my club.

"I have nothing but good things to say. And I'm on here now to represent my organization, I'm here to show up, unlike another club that didn't show up on Sunday (sorry boys, that was a cheapshot, but it's all in good fun and in the spirit of Philly love)."

Thomas Williams: Work? He Friggin' Loves It

"This is really happening. I am in the NFL. For a guy who has always dreamed of this day happening, it's amazing that it's become a reality. I am in Jacksonville, got here late last week to start OTAs and I'm enjoying every second of it. I am absolutely loving putting that helmet on every day. When you graduate from college it's time to get a job and go to work. The fact that my job is in the NFL will never get lost on me. I know I have a long way to go and a lot of work to do to make the roster, but it's an honor to be here and I am very excited about it."

Colin Doyle: Amped for More LAX

"I will be playing in Brampton in the OLA Major Series (indoor lax) and competing there for the Mann Cup, as well as playing in the MLL with the Rochester Rattlers. Both seasons, continue over the course of the summer and do conflict sometimes, but I look forward to playing a full MLL season and as many as 13 games in the OLA. It should make for a busy summer, but what else would you rather be doing??? Both teams will be very competitive, as both teams are loaded with talent!! In Rochester, we have a very Canadian feel with the likes of John Grant, Gavin Prout, Jeff Zywicki, Brodie Merril, Jordan Hall. We also boast some of the best American field studs in Jack Ried, Casey Powell and Joe Walters....along with many other big time players. On paper this team is AWESOME!!!"

Ah, if games were only played on paper, Colin, this writer might be a different person … and Mr. Destiny would have turned out better for James Belushi too.

from ESPN the Mag - Jockosphere 5.19

May 19, 2008, 11:24 AM - by Ryan Corazza and Evan Bartsch

REPORTING FROM THE JOCK-OSPHERE

Getty Images

"I feel like the rails and the IRS is the Orient Express."

[Ed's Note: In the long view of the sports media industry, it's still a relatively new concept that athletes, agents, executives and yes, mascots, could circumvent us and tell their own stories…instantly, on blogs. We say, fantastic—but we're going to cover what they're writing.]
Read More

OJ Mayo in a bit of steamy orange concentrate...from Deadspin.com

O.J. Mayo's Not The Sharpest Trojan In The Jar

This whole O.J. Mayo affair is probably not surprising to anybody who has a healthy does of skepticism about heavily recruited college basketball players' long-term goals and their abilities to make sound life decisions. As soon as Mayo signed onto USC, it was pretty clear that this kid decided Southern California would be a better spot not to work on his game or his education, but to begin marketing O.J. Mayo: The Brand.

It's becoming even more apparent that the kid was manipulated, but how complicit he was in the whole ordeal remains to be seen. Unless, you count this little nugget from ESPN's follow-up coverage of their "Outside The Lines" report:

Mayo, who talked to ESPN.com using the same cell phone number that Guillory had provided for him (according to T-Mobile phone records and independent verification by "Outside The Lines"), said he didn't speak with anyone from USC on Sunday and reiterated that he had no knowledge of money going from BDA to him. Attempts by ESPN.com to reach USC were unsuccessful Sunday.

That's right: He called ESPN from one of the illicit phones.

Yeah, maybe O.J. Mayo would benefit from a couple more years of college. Or junior high school, really. Also, it's probably time USC imposed a school-wide "No O.J.'s" rule for for their athletic programs.

By the way, Pro Football Talk points out that Gregg Doyel has been all over this for a while.

Mayo denies ex-confidant's claims of gifts, including tv, cash [ESPN.com]
O.J. Mayo , Agents, and basketball [True Hoop]

[Origin of the Species]